Archive, 1st half of 2007

06/28/2007:
Joanna and I attended PortCon last weekend. We drove up Friday morning and came back Sunday evening. We stayed at the Sheraton Hotel and Convention Center, where the con was being held. Whenever attending a weekend con, I highly recommend staying on location if possible. It was great not to have to travel to or from the con each day; we could move between our room and the con as we wished, retiring to our room to get away from the rush of people for awhile, then returning refreshed.

While we were there, we saw a lot of people in costume. Some of them were very well-done; others were fairly shoddy and/or unattractive. There were a few characters I recognized, and many more I did not, not being familiar with many anime characters from movies, shows, or anime-styled RPGs. It was still interesting to see what people put together, though. Joanna and I spent a lot of time wandering the con, checking out games, wares, and art. While we were there, we learned how to play ZOMBIES!!!, and liked it so much that we picked up a copy at the mall on our way home :) It is a tabletop survival horror game, but players are playing against each other, trying to survive and get out of the city, usually while leaving their buddies behind. The game map is built as the game plays out, so it is always a different configuration, which always makes the game interesting. I look forward to playing it more. :)

While at the Con, we also met C.J. Henderson, an author that neither of us were previously familiar with. He writes detective novels, but the subjet matter is dark, based around the Lovecraft mythos. We picked up several of his books, and look forward to reading them. We also attended a panel that he ran, and we got some good advice on what it takes to become a published writer :)

While at the con, we also played Frag, a table-top FPS-style game. I played a round of Super Smash Brothers Melee against some truly excellent players (who totally kicked my ass). We played a 4-player game, stock, 4 lives each. The guy that won won with Jiggly Puff. He was just that good. We also played a tag-style game called Infection, which was also a survival game against Zombies (the theme of the Con was "Reanimated"). If you died to a zombie, you became a zombie. We survived for awhile, but I was getting tired in the heat and wanted to get on the road before it got too late, so we left. I was glad we left early; it allowed us to get home at a decent hour, chill out, and play our new game. ZOMBIES!!! :)


06/19/2007:
Toffee, our little blind rat, died sometime last night. Joanna found her this morning; her sisters had buried her body, and Isis was sleeping next to the mound. I want to cry for her, just typing these words, but again the tears will not come. This morning, my eyes burned a little, and that was it. I hope to be able to shed some tears soon; maybe again in dreams they will come. Toffee was "Daddy's little rat"; she was the one I handled most, and I loved having her sit on my shoulder while I typed at the computer, or cuddle inside my shirt during the winter, while I lay on the couch, reading or watching TV. Her and Isis were often on Joanna's shoulders, one on each shoulder, hiding under her hair. I will miss the sound of her ticking; we call it "rat sonar". She ticked loudest and longest of all of them; we thought it was probably because she could not see very well, so it helped her feel out her boundaries. And it was really cute.

The deaths we do not expect are the hardest ones to take. When an animal or person is sick for a long time, and they pass on, we have already started to harden ourselves against the grief. Toffee did not act sick at all; she was spry and seemed healthy and happy...and then this :(

Ah, Toffee, I love you, little rat. *sniffle*


06/18/2007:
Joanna and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary yesterday. 1 year. Wow. It went by quickly, and we have accomplished a lot in our first year. We have learned alot about each other, and even a little about ourselves, I think :) We spent the weekend enjoying ourselves, and doing a lot of relaxing. Friday night, Roland came over and we played some co-op Doom2. We played for several hours, laughed alot, and had a great time. I got a massage at the Abundant Wellness Center on Saturday, while Joanna wandered around Chicopee and did a bit of shopping. Saturday night, we went to Calamari's (now named just "Cal's") in West Springfield, for a very tasty dinner. Joanna had shrimp stuffed with crab meat and I partook of the rosemary chicken. Joanna tried one of their expresso martinis, and pronounced it very tasty. I stuck with my usual water ;) We finished the night up with a movie (Aliens ;) ). On Sunday, we relaxed some more. Did some errands, watched some X-files, played a few hands of Magic, played some Doom 3 (I'm playing through the expansion again). It was a really nice weekend :)

I did end up taking a 1/2 day last Wednesday. It helped. I was feeling stressed emotionally, mentally, and physically. My tears have still not come to me here, but I have shed them in dreams, and that has helped to ease the pressure somewhat. I talked to my Mom and Dad yesterday. Mom is doing OK. She has been talking to Jamie, my uncle's wife, every day, and that has helped both of them. I think maybe when I get to see Mom, my tears will come easier. Maybe. I talked to Dad, too, and wished him a happy Father's Day. He deserves it. Thank you, Dad.


06/13/2007:
Our family suffered a tragic loss yesterday. My Uncle Phil, my mother's only brother, passed away yesterday afternoon. I still haven't absorbed the truth yet. I have acknowledged it, but it will take some time before it will become part of my living knowledge; right now, the thought of this world without him feels alien to me. My Mom was there with him as he passed from this world. She told me she felt blessed to be in his presence. I believe she was, and is. Blessed.

Phil was an outgoing - sometimes wild - man; it was his nature. He was also friendly, and loving. He was a husband (multiple times), father, and uncle. He was very strong, brave, and wise. He was well-traveled, driving across the U.S. many times, and visiting other countries. He was very fond of Mexico. I wish I could say that I knew him at the core. I did not, not fully. But I did know him, and loved him. I will miss his presence here on this world. I am glad he has now been freed from his pain. He lived with it for several years, going through tests and using different approaches to battling that which sought to make his life less enjoyable. Through all, he was strong. Even at the end, he was strong. Strong enough to make the decision to pass on, away from this world and into the next.

As always when death takes someone close to me, I ponder my own mortality. If I were to die tomorrow, would I be disappointed? Yes, of course; there is so much that I wish to do in this lifetime. Would I be proud of what I have accomplished so far? Again, yes. I feel I have done well for myself, but I am still building a base from which to launch from, off to do other things, have more experiences, learn more. I love knowledge.

I should have taken today off. I thought about it this morning, and it was very appealing, yet I came to work anyway. I think I'm going to take a 1/2 day and leave at 2. My heart just is not in it, and my mind continues to wander. I feel I may have some tears to shed, but I cannot shed them here. I think I will go home to my wife. She wants me to come home. She says it is what I need. I am inclined to believe her.


06/01/2007:
It is quite hot out. And humid. The breeze helps it from feeling too brutal outside. I am getting better at dealing with the humidity now. It still bothers me if I'm out in it for too long, but I don't feel instantly sick when I go outside. Vast improvement :)

Had a very good weekend up in VT. Beautiful weather. Spent time helping my parents around the yard: mowing, getting the garden set up and planted, taking care of the various animals. It was good to get outside and do some hands-on work. I am of the opinion that everyone should, at least some of the time, if at all possible. Also had plenty of time to relax and unwind. Having 3 days instead of the usual 2 was great. I then worked 1 day, then had another day off (Wednesday). Worked yesterday and today, then another 2 days off. Wish I could have this schedule every week :)

Early Wednesday morning, Joanna and I drove to Hartford to get her biometrics taken care of for the immigration process. This was mainly just fingerprinting, and answering a few questions. It was a quick process; our appointment was at 8:00 am, and we were done by 8:30, I think. We were feeling quite tired, having gotten up at 5:30 am, so we went home after the appointment. Later on, we went back out and got more things done. I finally submitted my passport application at the Post Office. I've been meaning to take care of that for months. The lady at the Post Office said it could take 10 weeks or so to get my passport. That's fine with me; we have no immediate travel plans (Joanna cannot travel outside the country until she gets her permanent residence status; or rather, she CAN travel outside the country, but there is no guarantee she would be allowed back INTO the country after doing so). With the biometrics done, now there is just more waiting to receive the immigration papers. The biometrics should be the last thing we actually have to do before she receives her adjustment of status. We await the next packet from USCIS...

I have been feeling better this week than last week. I have resumed my stretching each day, and I also make sure to walk a little bit each day, as well. I have also been enjoying the benefits of some essential oils: lemon to calm my anxiety and relax me, and peppermint to relieve upset stomach, sooth muscles, and cool my body. I know no reason not to use the oils as much as I desire; they do not seem to have any ill effects. Joanna signed up for an oil-of-the-month and herb-of-the-month list, so starting last month and continuing until May of next year, we will receive a new essential oil and small packet of herbs each month, along with information on what uses they have. I think it is a great idea; good for expanding our knowledge, and increasing our health and well-being as well :)


05/25/2007:
The humidity has returned. Ugh. Makes me feeling icky. I'll get used to it. And then it will get more dry. Then when it gets humid, I'll have to adjust again. It is near 90 degrees and humid today. Not my favorite kind of weather, especially in early summer. I expect it in July and August.

I was feeling it yesterday but not too badly. Today it has hit me hard. I felt really bad this morning, like my inner ear couldn't get straightened out. I kept getting dizzy when I stood up. Was wondering how I was supposed to drive to work and sit in front of this computer all day. I am managing. I felt better after I showered this morning. I put some peppermint oil on my temples and the back of my neck to help cool me off; that helped, too. My stomach is not feeling very well, but I'm just taking it easy. I'll try and get through today's work day, and then I have 3 days off. Joanna and I are planning to drive up to VT tonight and stay there for the weekend, returning to MA on Monday. It's supposed to be cooler and less humid this weekend. Yay.

I got a speeding ticket yesterday. It is my first speeding ticket since October of 2002. Over 4 and 1/2 years. I guess I was about due, considering the general rate of speed in which I travel from place to place. I've seen other people caught and pulled over in the same place, too, on other days. I just wasn't thinking about it. Obviously. The road is marked at a 55 mph limit, but most people drive it like it's a 65 mph limit instead. The police sit just over the crest of a hill. 2 cars, 3 officers. 1 officer runs the laser / radar gun, the others give out tickets as needed. They tag you at the top of the hill; you see them just as they see you, and then it's too late if you're over the limit. It's a pretty good setup for them.

I took the ticket in stride. I was a little upset at myself, but not overmuch. It happens. I sped. I got caught. I'll pay the fine and be done. Not going to bother fighting it. They got me cold. Some people would fight it anyway for a chance to decrease or remove the fine. That's just not me. Whatever advice people would give, it's just not me. I have always paid my speeding tickets, and nothing ill has befallen me because of it.

Last weekend was pretty good. I had to get new tires put on my car. This was unexpected, but it is OK that it happened. I took the car in for an oil change. While they had it up on the jacks, they noticed a split in the tire, right along the tread. They brought me over to take a look at it. It was deep; down to the steel belt. The front tires were really worn down, anyway. The back ones are still in good shape, so I only had them replace the front ones. I got a little discount, too, because I have road hazard coverage. Handy. I have noticed my ride is a little smoother with the new tires. Yay.

Later in the afternoon on Saturday, I went up to Awentree in Easthampton and had a 1-hour Reiki session. It helped to balance my energies, and clear some negative energy away from my body. I could feel the bits of negativity floating around me when I left. I went home and took a shower to wash them away, and felt much better. I felt more relaxed that day, and I have definitely felt better this week than last week (barring my humidity-related discomforts). I have felt less stressed, and better able to deal with my stresses this week. I've been taking things in stride and not letting things latch onto me and hold me back, keeping me from moving past them.

Also hung out with Pete, Steph, and Roland on Saturday afternoon and evening. They came over and we hung out. Steph brought her PS2 and "Valkyrie Profile 2" (RPG), so we watched her play that for awhile, and Pete and I also gave it a shot for a bit. We then got out Fluxxx, and played that until Kris and Joanna arrived later. We then played some D&D for about 3 hours. We explored. We traveled the gateways of time, into the past. We got frustrated trying to talk sense to some snake-people. We were attacked by a centipede the size of a semi. It almost ate Gaulrog, our giant half-orc wizard, after he zapped it with a lightning bolt and toasted it with a scorching ray. We were thankfully able to take the monster down before it did eat him. We then decided that camping out in the open was a bad idea, and we returned to (hopefully) safer quarters. It was a fun time.


05/18/2007:
Joanna and I went and looked at a couple of houses last Sunday. It was beautiful weather, mid-60's and sunny; a great day to be out, and we enjoyed it. We had fun in our looking, for sure, even though neither house was for us. Both are located in Hartford, a couple miles from each other. The first house was built in 1920, and its skin was showing its age. Its structure seemed sound, but it was in dire need of paint, both inside and out. There were also cracks in the plaster, and a new roof is probably necessary, as well. The basement had a cement floor, and also contained the only shower in the house, also with a cement floor. It was quaint and interesting, but I prefer a tub or at least a stall floor under me when showering, not just a cement floor. There was a bathroom on the 2nd floor, but the ceiling was angled, so there was room for a tub, but not enough good stand-up room for a shower. The driveway was huge and paved, with a 4-car garage at the end. If it were us, much of the pavement would become lawn, and the 4-car would be reduced to a 2-and-a-half or so, with enough room for 2 cars, plus some storage space. The neighbors on either side were a driveway's width or so away; not tooo close, but not very far, either. I prefer a little more distance between my house and my neighbors', if possible.

The 2nd house, we learned once we were inside, used to be a doctor's office. As such, the bathrooms were sparse (no tub, let alone a shower), and no kitchen! The house has been on the market for a year and a half, and we can see why: it is going to take just the right person to want it. It looks nice on the outside, and the inside is roomy, but a LOT of work is going to be needed to make it liveable. Also, it is not in a very pleasant area. We had to wait outside for awhile for the realtor to arrive (he thought the appointment was at 1:30, but it was at 1:00), so we got a nice look at the types of people driving by, and we decided they are not the kind of people we want to see every day, outside our house. A mix of hispanics, blacks, and whites, but not the type I like to associate with. The word "sketchy" comes to mind. Also, there was a little beer & wine store right next door, which fit right in with the kind of people we saw, but didn't fit in with us very well. We both felt very out-of-place there.

Even though the houses were not for us, we really enjoyed looking, and we look forward to looking at other houses, as well. We have plenty of time; there is no date by which we need to move (being on a month-to-month lease in our current apartment is really nice). As I stated last week, I was feeling a little nervous about the looking, but it all went smoothly, and I think the next ones will find me more relaxed. Now, if I could just start feeling better. Back to spaced out and sickish today. I think the weekend will definitely help.


05/17/2007:
This week has been up and down. The ups have been good, the downs have been bad. Most of the downs have been related to my health, which hasn't felt very strong this week. I felt really sick on Saturday, then great on Sunday, then back to sick on Monday (took the 2nd half of the day off from work and went home; glad I did), then a little better on Tuesday, then a little better on Wednesday, and a little better today. So the health feels like it is improving, but it is slow going. I think I got some sort of stomach bug or something, but it is being helped along by my stress level lately. I feel like things are scattered and I can't pull them together; I feel overwhelmed by small tasks. I think I just need a break. I do have a weekend coming up, then a 3-day weekend the week after, then some scattered time off over the next month, including a 5-day block near the end of June, which will be realllly nice. Hopefully I can spend some of that time off giving my mind a break, and thereby helping my body, too.


05/10/2007:
The change in weather this week is really bothering me. I think it's a combination of the growing humidity and the large amounts of pollen in the air. Pollen never bothered me much when I was younger, but in the last couple of years, the first week or so of everything coming into bloom has caused me to be lightly congested and just generally irritable. This week has been especially bad; I have been tired pretty much all the time, due to lack of good sleep, brought on by several factors. Stress is one factor. I don't really have much to be stressed about right now, but somehow I still am. And then I get stressed about being stressed, and stressed about not feeling well (due to stress). It's a never-ending cycle. *sigh* The growing humidity is another factor in my lack of sleep. We turned the fan on last night; that helped a lot and I slept better, so I am less tired today, but the humidity is still bothering me. It makes me feel greasy, inside and out. I will adjust to it. Just need a few days.

This weekend should be good. I have a massage scheduled for tomorrow, and hopefully we will be playing D&D that afternoon, as well (my campaign). On Sunday, Joanna and I are going to look at a couple of houses in the Hartford area. This is no-pressure looking. No finances involved. Just looking, to get a better feel for what we want when we do decide to purchase. I admit I have a little stress about this, too. I don't know why. Just looking. No pressure.

Page Updates:
- added "Here at the End" to Writings
- in the navigation bar, renamed "Scribble" to "Writings"


05/02/2007:
I feel a little depressed today. The gloom this morning was not helping. I looked outside a few minutes ago and it is now sunny. I look forward to stepping out into the sun a little later, during my break.

Things at work have begun to feel monotonous. I am going to talk to my manager about getting some projects to work on. I feel there is more I could be doing with my skills and my knowledge than fixing day to day problems. I think I could help out on some bigger issues. I won't know until I get a chance to look at those larger issues and see if I can apply what I know and help find solutions for them. I think this monotony has contributed to my little bit of depression today. Just haven't been very excited to come to work this week. I think that's a good indication it is time to expand on the work I am doing; I imagine there are several places within the company where I could apply myself, to this end, possibly right from the position I am currently working in.

An upside to today: I have been inspired to do a little bit of writing. Hopefully I'll have some sort of completed piece sometime today or tomorrow that I can post under Scribble.

Page Updates:
- removed "We Are One" from Scribble. It was not very well written, and it does not complement my usual writing style at all.


04/24/2007:
We are having such beautiful weather right now. Low to mid seventies, warm sun, a gentle breeze. Makes me go "wow" everytime I step outside. It was beautiful all weekend, too; a welcome reprieve from all of the rain we had last week. It was great to do our errands on Saturday and Sunday and be able to drive around with the windows down and the wind blowing through our hair. I definitely feel more energetic this week, too, with the warm air and sunshine. There is good, clean, renewed energy in our home, as well, as we have had the windows open pretty much constantly over the past 3 or 4 days. Seems like Spring has finally arrived. Hopefully we won't get a blizzard ;)

Played D&D on Saturday. Pete's campaign. Learned more about our current situation, which we are quite deep into now. There was a lot of good roleplaying, but a minimal amount of combat (I had hoped for more of the latter). I suspect the next session may hold more combat, as I think we will start coming up against heavier, more physical opposition to our quest. We have been hindered in the past, in a more subtle manner, but our continued success and persistence must certainly be noted by those who oppose us. We will see what the next session brings.

Spent the day with Joanna on Sunday. We hit the mall and wandered for awhile, mostly just window-shopping and enjoying the other's company. Also hit a few other stores on the way in and the way home. Joanna made a tasty garlic pasta for dinner, with shrimp, scallions, and broccoli. Dessert was homemade chocolate cupcakes with chocolate frosting, which she had baked the previous day. Mmm, mm good. To finish up our evening, we watched the movie Phantom of the Opera. It was a good match for the original show, I thought, and we both enjoyed it. I've been humming and singing the music off and on since then...

This week so far has been decent. Yesterday was pretty good, for a Monday. The only annoying part was getting stuck on a call and having to stay late last night. Had to get up early today for an appointment, and I didn't sleep very well besides, so I haven't been feeling too great today. My stomach was bothering me earlier, but it has felt better as the day has gone on. Now I am just feeling generally weary. Soon I get to go home to my wife. Wife! :)

Page Updates:
- updated dragon-rider.us main page. (Happenings section)


04/16/2007
The weekend was mostly very good. The bad stuff: our oldest rat, Isis, has developed a lump on her chest. We took her to the vet on Saturday morning, and surgery was discussed. They are going to mail us a cost estimate, and we will decide what will be best, for her comfort and well-being and for ours. Other bad stuff was general illness: Joanna has come down with a cold, and my stomach has been feeling "off" since Friday or so; it hasn't been terrible, thankfully; just off.

Good stuff: the major immigration papers are DONE! We finished them up last week, gathered the rest of the stuff we needed, and mailed the whole packet out on Saturday. We made backup copies of all the completed forms, and those copies have been safely filed away. The packet was mailed with delivery confirmation, so we will be keeping an eye on it and making sure it reaches its destination. I have never had trouble shipping or mailing anything via USPS, but I also rarely mail something so very important as this, so I think it is OK to be cautious. I also had my massage on Saturday at the Abundant Wellness Center, and that is always an enjoyable experience. After my massage, Joanna and I stopped in at the Herbarium in Chicopee. We browsed around a bit, and picked up a few small things. They have a nice variety of incense, crystals, herbs, and natural remedies there. Always nice to browse, even if I don't buy anything. We went home after that, and spent the rest of the evening relaxing in each other's company. I have been playing through Resident Evil Zero for my second time, so I played that for awhile. I found the game a little frustrating the first time through; this time, I find I am enjoying it much more.

On Sunday, despite the absolutely terrible weather, we went out to attend a small gathering in Easthampton. The gathering's proceeds were going to benefit a Nature Church, which had lost its main building in a fire in February. Several people also lost their homes when the building burned down. There was live entertainment at the gathering, a few vendors selling music and homemade goods, and a raffle. I won something in the raffle! I hardly ever win things like that. I got to select my prize from those on the table. I chose a gift certificate for a free 1-hour Reiki session (or massage, but I want to do the Reiki) at AwenTree. I have been working to balance my own energies; I feel a professional energy working will benefit me greatly. I will need to call and make an appointment soon; I'd like to wait until the weather is a little warmer, as it would be nice to be able to check out the other little shops in the same area :)

Joanna and I arrived at the gathering around 3 pm or so, in time to watch some bellydancing. We both enjoyed the show, and agreed on which of the dancers put on the best performance. There was some live music following the bellydancing performance, which was also enjoyable. We stayed for the act, then left after the raffle drawing, as we were both feeling tired. I am glad we attended; it was good to get out and do things, in spite of the weather and feelings of illness. I had hoped to see people there that I knew; I saw a few people I recognized from other events, but no one that I knew by name. That was OK, too. After the gathering, we drove home and relaxed on the couch for most of the rest of the evening. I did hop online for a little while, and played a couple of enjoyable games of Warcraft III with Blackwatch and Famine. On the couch, I played more Resident Evil Zero, watched some TV, and just relaxed. We got to bed at a decent hour, and my sleep was fairly restful :)

Page Updates:
- further updates to the Links page. Removed some dead links, added a few new links, mostly in the Tech section.


04/13/2007:
Feeling tired today. I am thankful it is Friday. Joanna and I have a busy Saturday morning, but the afternoon should be more relaxed. I am looking forward to the weekend.

I have actually had some time this week to update my site, so I've been taking advantage of it. The updates section below may gather additions throughout the day. I am thinking of changing the color scheme on my site, but I am not sure yet. The red on black is nice, but it may be time for a change. I'll think on it and see what happens.

Page Updates:
- updated dragon-rider.us main page. (Happenings section)
- updated the links page. Cleaned up extra text, added borders to the links to help them stand out. Removed a few links. Added a few more webcomic links: Applegeeks replaced Machall, added Toothpaste for Dinner, Perry Bible Fellowship, and Dilbert. Added 2 more programming tutorial links: VB and C#.


04/12/2007:
My dreams this week have been dark, heavy, and powerful. There is war every night; unrelenting charges, some that I lead, some where I am following. We crush the opposition, but they seem innumerable, and their numbers wear at us, wear at us, until it seems certain we must relent and give up, but we do not, we cannot. There is blood and bone, swords, axes, scythes slicing and hacking and cutting. I wake up sweating every morning, but I am exhilerated; the savage in me has been released, and I wish to continue that state of being, instead of rising to this world and coming to this place and being...civilized.

I dream also of people and events. Changes in life that have happened in part, or are planned to happen, and even those for which I have no plan. There are people that I know and people that I have not yet met. There are smiles and there is sadness. It is all vivid, and memorable. Powerful. I long for the company of those I see; a word, a hug, a handshake, the feeling of good, strong companions in this life. I have good, strong companions in this life. I have not seen them in many months, and as much as I try to emulate their presence with a thought, I cannot. Soon, I hope, soon I will see them again. I love them all so very much, and I hope they know this; I have to believe they know how deep my love runs for them, though I say it rarely. There are certain moments when saying such a thing is right, but those moments seem to run quickly away; one needs to catch the moment and express the words and feel the words and the emotion, and share the emotion; if the moment is right, both parties feel the warmth of that emotion at the same time, and it is so intense that it makes me want to cry.

I've been feeling empowered this week, spiritually. Empowered emotionally, as well, but also vulnerable. Often, in order to get in touch with my more sensitive nature, it is necessary to open myself up, hence the feeling of vulnerability. I think the coming days will be a time of enlightenment and possibly revelation for me.

Page Updates:
- updated dragon-rider.us main page. (Happenings section)
- changed format of the Mystic page (see link in left frame). The page now opens in a new window, and has its own side frame. There is a link on this new page to return to the main (shadowchaser) site. I will hopefully be adding more content to this new page soon.


04/06/2007:
Had my surgery performed on 3/21, to remove the metal rod from my left shin. The surgery went well, and I am now less like a cyborg. I had a week and a half off from work, for recovery time. It wasn't exactly a vacation, but it was really nice to have the time off. I got to spend a lot of time with Joanna, since I was couch-bound for a week or so. The worst of the pain was over in the first few days. I spent those first few days sleeping most of the time, usually under the influence of the pain medication prescribed to me.

I had planned to "get things done" during my time off, but I spent most of it just relaxing and not getting much of anything "done". In retrospect, I think it was better that I spent my time the way I did; I often pressure myself to "get things done", and I needed some time when I didn't need to do those things (and for some of the days, could not do much of anything). Joanna and I spent a lot of time watching movies and playing video games.

I did get to play some D&D, too, last Saturday. I finally got to run my campaign again. As best as we could figure, the last time we had played my campaign was in September, but I think we had one more session since then. No matter. The session went pretty well, though there were more deaths than I had planned. A PC and an NPC both met their end. The PC, Kyle, was reincarnated; the NPC's fate will be determined during the next session. The characters spent the entire session in The Beastlands, trekking across the plane and being hunted (and sometimes killed) by the larger varieties of the beasts there. Kyle was crushed to death by a giant constrictor. I think he could have been saved if his companions had acted quicker, but it was not to be. Codo and Mayar were both swallowed by a giant shark, but neither were killed in its belly. The NPC, a bauriar named B'rojjineck, died in the giant shark's jaws, crushed and pierced through by its many teeth. The characters plan to resurrect him. There has been no lack of excitement for the characters lately. I had hoped for more D&D this weekend, but being Easter weekend, people have plans. Hopefully sometime in the near future, there will be more D&D :)

This week has been tiring. I'm still healing up from my surgery, and find that I get tired more quickly than usual. The healing is going well, and my mobility continues to improve. Walking still causes a little pain in my hip and lower back; I think this is due to the limping that is (thankfully) slowly diminishing. Hopefully within the next couple of weeks, I'll be walking normally again. At least I don't have to use crutches. Also, I got the staples removed yesterday, so I don't need to cover my leg when I shower; it was OK for awhile, but that part got to be a little annoying. Overall, all good things. I need to get back into my stretching routines at night; I fell away from them while I was recovering. I did some stretching out last night; even just 10 minutes or so helps. I plan to pick it up again and do it each night from now on. :)


03/15/2007:
Busy, busy, busy at work this week and last. One of my teammates has been out, so that leaves 2 of us on our team to handle server problems, escalate tickets, and work on active directory and share administration requests. It hasn't left time for much but work while I'm at work. While I'm not one who is prone to slacking off at work, it is nice to have a few minutes each day to read the news, catch up on webcomics, or update this site. I haven't had time for any of that. Thankfully, we weren't as busy with tickets yesterday or today, so we had time to catch up on the administration / registration requests. We are now mostly caught up, and are well within our time limit for completing the remaining requests. I expect the request bin will be empty come this time tomorrow. Then again, we're supposed to have some rather nasty weather starting tonight and into tomorrow, so we may be shortstaffed in other areas, and therefore still really busy. We will see, tomorrow.

I had a sore throat starting to kick in on Sunday. It was scratchy-sore, and just mildly irritating. It persisted into Monday, and was feeling better Monday night...then promptly got much worse on Tuesday. I worked a 1/2 day, then went to the doctor's. I got tested for strep. I don't have strep, yay! I've been taking Aleve, gargling salt water, and using some anti-sore throat spray (which tastes pretty terrible), and my throat is now feeling better. I still have a scratchiness in the back of the throat, which causes some raspy speech and an occasional cough, but overall I am feeling better. This is good, as my surgery is coming up on Wednesday of next week, to get the steel rod removed from my leg, and I need to be healthy in order for that to take place. In talking with the surgeon, I think my recovery time will be about what I expected, maybe less. I'll have crutches for assistance, but I should be able to walk on the leg within a couple of days. I'll make sure to do this, to increase and maintain my stamina; that was one of the most difficult things when I first got out of the hospital from the original accident: I could only move a short distance before becoming tired, sometimes even dizzy and light-headed. I mentioned above that the weather is supposed to get bad, but hopefully it is nicer on the days following my surgery, and I can get out and move around some in the warmer air.

In spite of my sickness earlier in the week, I still think I have been feeling better overall than I was early last month. My back has continued to be in pretty good shape; I still have some soreness at times, but stretching out helps with that. I am continuing to practice my visualizations and deep breathing, and have been going back through the book I finished reading on vibrational and color healing. This time, I am writing down information that I want to be able to refer to while I am working on my techniques. I also started reading one of the other books I have: this one details auras: seeing them, feeling them out, and strengthening one's aura. I think some of the techniques presented therein will be useful for me.

I've also been preparing some notes for a new D&D campaign. I am still DMing my other game, and playing in Pete's campaign, and those 2 campaigns will continue to run. However, we can only play those on Saturdays when everyone is available; the new campaign will have a more flexible schedule, and a mixing of players from both campaigns. I have 4 players, and that will probably be it, though I could add others if desired. The characters will be starting at 1st level. It's been several years since I DM'd for 1st-level characters, and I am looking forward to it. I am creating a new world, different from the one my other campaign is based from. I have a little bit of detail concerning the area surrounding the starting town, and some of the layout of the town itself. I have more documented about the attitude of the people and the area than I do about the physical layout :) I am enjoying the preparation, and have found it also motivates me to keep detailing encounters and scenarios for my other campaign, as well. :)


02/21/2007:
I am finally starting to feel better this week. My back has been doing much better, and my stomach has started to improve some, as well. I have been making sure to take time to stretch out each night after work for a little while, and I believe that has not hurt things any. I've also been to the chiropractor once a week for the past few weeks. That, coupled with a professional massage I received Saturday at the Abundant Wellness Center, has contributed to my vast improvement, I'm sure. The massage on Saturday actually made me feel worse for awhile. There we some really tough knots in my lower back, and they seemed to tie directly to my upset stomach. My stomach was in severe shape Saturday night, but felt much better on Sunday. It has been doing OK this week; work-related stress has been affecting it, as always, but it has been better, overall, than in the past few weeks. I have also been continuing to read my book on healing through vibration, colors, and the chakras, and have been focusing more on doing things that make me feel better throughout the day: little things like taking deep breaths and clearing my mind every once in awhile, not letting stresses pile up. I have also been working on visualization techniques to pull stress and negative energy away from my most sensitive parts and disperse it elsewhere, allowing it to be carried away from me. I do not need to carry much of the stress that I carry. I have spent a lot of time building this wall of stresses, and breaking it down will take time, but I do have the time. I need to, for my well-being. I want to, for a happier, healthier life.

I was looking over my journal entries for the past few months, and I see the word "tired" and "stressed" an awful lot. I want to change that. It begins with these steps. I look forward to where the steps will take me.


02/09/2007:
I feel like I really fell apart physically this week. The week started out OK; I was feeling tired on Monday, but that's really nothing new. The weekend was nice and relaxing, so I wasn't even as tired as I usually am, come the beginning of the work week. Tuesday, I was feeling ok in the morning, but after I had been at work for 4 hours or so, I started feeling pretty terrible. I started getting body aches and upset stomach; felt like I was getting a fever. Also, my ears hurt, so I thought I may have an ear infection developing, too. So I took a 1/2 day and went to the doctor's office. The doctor did not find any evidence of an ear infection or fever. I did the best thing I could think of from there: I went home, rested on the couch, and ingested fluids. Wednesday morning, I got up and felt ok, so I got ready and went to work. About 1/2 way through my commute, I started feeling sick again. I should have turned around and gone home, but I thought maybe after I had been awake for awhile longer, I may start feeling better, as sometimes happens. This time, that didn't happen. I got to work, stayed for about 20 minutes, decided I really should not have gone at all, and went home. I spent the rest of the day on the couch, mostly feeling worse than the previous day. As the evening settled in, I did start feeling better, which was good. Apparently, my system just needed time and rest to work out what was wrong with it. And not that I'd want to feel that way on a weekend...but things like that rarely ever happen to me on the weekends; the majority of the time I am sick, it is during the week. Stress is definitely a factor. I've also lost most of the weight I had gained over the past few months; this is probably the most depressing for me. I was doing really well and eating well, but due to illness I have not been doing as well over the past week or 2. :(

I am due for a vacation; something longer than 2 or 3 days. I do have some time off coming up in March, but it's not really a vacation. I am having surgery performed, to remove the steel rod from my left leg. I am looking forward to having the rod removed; it has been causing me some knee pain off and on during the past 3 or 4 months. I am looking forward to the recovery time, too; even though it won't be a real vacation, it will be some time off from work, and I think I really need it.

On top of the sickness (and intertwined with it), my back has been bothering me this week. It started in my neck and shoulders over the weekend, and worked its way down to my middle and lower back. Last night, the pain was quite bad during my drive home. I found once I got home that while I was standing or laying down, it was ok, but there really was no comfortable sitting position. I did go to the chiropractor this morning, and he worked on my lower back. It was feeling better after he worked on it; now it is getting painful again, but not as bad as last night. It apparently needs more rest, and maybe a more comfortable chair. I will need to take care of it this weekend. If sitting on the floor, I'll make sure to have back support.

I was feeling depressed yesterday, which is an unusual feeling for me over the past few years. I have very little to be depressed about; I have a wonderful wife, a good place to live, loving friends and family, and a good job that pays well. I have realized my health lately has been what is bringing me down mentally. I am looking into alternative healing methods; I am currently reading about vibrational healing, crystals, and healing through the chakras. I am looking forward to putting some of what I am reading into practice, once I learn more about some of the techniques. I can be healthier; I will be healthier. I have the power to heal myself, but I don't need to do it alone; I have people around me that can help me, and I need to not be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help. I don't need to do this alone.


01/25/2007:
It has been a tired week. I was so exhausted yesterday that I was feeling downright ill, so I only worked a 1/2 day (went home at 2). Today, I was still feeling wiped out, but I came to work anyway. The first couple of hours were rough, but after noon or so, I definitely started feeling better. Now it is almost six, and while I still feel tired, I don't feel as ill, which is nice. Work is busy and often stressful enough without having illness on top of everything. I am very glad tomorrow is Friday.

This past weekend went pretty well. On Friday night, I got a few hours in on the server with my UT clan. We have a few new recruits, and a couple of them were on, along with Famine and I. Blackwatch even hopped on for a couple of rounds. It was a good time. I had hoped to get some playtime in this week, but it hasn't happened. Maybe this weekend. Speaking of playtime, I did finish up Skies of Arcadia: Legends this week on the Gamecube. I put about 53 hours into it total, and I know there is a bunch of extra stuff that I didn't do yet. Someday I may return to it to fully explore its depth and find all its treasures, but for now I am content that I saved the world from the brutal reign of a tyrant, and, after that, from near-total destruction. I found that finishing that game left a hole in me; I now needed a new game to get into and start working my way through. That game is Tales of Symphonia, which I started playing last night. I have only played a few hours so far, but I am really enjoying it. The combat takes some getting used to, though, since it is real-time (ish), where Skies of Arcadia featured a turn-based system.

On Saturday, we played D&D (Pete's campaign). We started around 3:30 and played pretty late (I think we finished up around midnight). There was no combat, but a lot of good roleplaying. We finally got some of the answers we have been seeking, and I look forward to the next session, when we will hopefully uncover more. Also, Joanna has joined us as a player, playing her own character (in the past, she has filled in for players who could not make it to the session). I am glad to have her playing with us, and with her own character :)

I am hoping to be able to play my own campaign again soon, but differing schedules between us have so far prevented that from happening. Hopefully next month sometime, my players and I will all have a day free when we can play. There is still much to be explored, learned, experienced...

Life has its strange little events. Yesterday morning, I experienced one of these. I awoke at 5:20 am or so, at first not really sure why I was awake. Then I heard the music. It was coming from the parking lot out back, and it was quite loud. Joanna and I were soon both awake, wondering what was going on. My first thought was that someone had started their car remotely, to let it warm up in the cold, and had left their radio on loud before exiting the vehicle the previous night. However, as we tried to go back to sleep, we realized the music just kept playing and playing. One song ended, another began. Joanna peeked between the curtains, and said there was a car outside, and it looked like someone was sitting in it, but she couldn't be sure. I looked, and I, too, thought there was someone in the car, but I couldn't be positive. After a few more minutes of the music, knowing I needed to get at least a little more sleep (I had to be up at 6:30 that morning) and seeing that no one else apparently wanted to do anything about it, I decided I had to go investigate. I got out of bed, dragged on some clothes, a coat, and my old shoes, and went outside.

I first noticed that there was indeed someone sitting in the car, yet the car did not appear to be running. Of course, seeing this, my active imagination starts working faster; is it some depressed man or woman, cranking the music to drown out their sorrows, not caring who hears? Maybe it's an angry person, and they are going to get mad at my suggestion of turning the music down. I continued to approach. I could see now that it was an older man sitting in the car. The window was down a little less than half way, which is why we could hear the music so